Wednesday, September 10, 2008


Usually I just blog about events but I need to have a “vent “blog. This morning on my way to work I was listening to 97.1. I listen every morning for their Hollywood sleaze. I love the GOSSIP! Well today I was running a little late so I got to hear more of the morning show than I usually do and they were talking about a topic that really makes me mad and them too I guess. Jessica (the sleaze specialists, is that a title?) Anyway, the subject was on the sex of babies and people who are just irate when they find out it is not the sex they wanted. Jessica made me SO proud of her. She said you know they should be lucky that they can even have children and be grateful for what they have. There are a ton of people out there that would even love to have just one. THANK you Jessica! I am so glad that she said that. Scott and I are just like those people that would just to love to have one. I want nothing more in this world to be a MOM and to know that it may never happen is devastating. People take things SUCH granted that it is just NUTS.I feel bad for the poor little kids that have to be brought up In such a terrible home. Parents BE grateful for your children. There is a reason why they are sent down to you at a certain time and place. It’s not always about OUR time or what WE want. The Lord has a plan for each and every one of us. We may not like what he has in store but TOUGH. There are a lot of trials you will go through in life and having a boy when you want a girl or vs. Is NOT one and it’s not the end of the world. Also be consider it of infertility. I didn’t really get it either until I was in the position of month after month waiting and hoping it would work and getting devastated every time. I know you are all thinking well she is ONLY talking about me. NO everyone is like that. My sister and I were talking the other day (she was able in 8yrs have 1 child so far) on how annoying and rude people can be. Here are a few guidelines to follow; Just because you are trying to get pregnant doesn’t mean the first sign of sickness you are all the sudden pregnant. People STILL get sick and have tummy aches without being pregnant. Don’t keep ASKING month after month are you pregnant yet? NO, if we were we WOULD tell. Trust me if we were pregnant we WOULD tell it would be so exciting we wouldn’t be able to hold it back. Don’t just ASSUME you can have kids RIGHT when you want to. Even if it is your 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. You never know. If it’s your time you will have one. Don’t wait if you are suppose to because of selfish reason. School, work traveling, etc. If there is suppose to be a child in your life and you know it don’t hold back. Be GRATEFUL god is giving you his child to protect over this crazy world. It is hard enough to walk on in your daily lives seeing Moms, children, and future moms walking around without you rubbing it in our face. If you don’t feel like you can raise that child and be grateful give them a better home to someone who will. There are plenty of families out there that can give that child a better home. Also with saying that don’t make anything else MORE important than your family. NO job, NO vacation, NO sport, etc should take over the needs of your family. I was very grateful to be able to grow up in a home where my mom did NOT work. She was always there to count on. She still is today. If you want a GREAT example of motherhood turn to my MOM. She has been there for me and my sister through our time have grief with us waiting months and months to give her more grandchildren. She is patient loving and only asks questions when we need to turn to her or knows it’s the right time. Pray for those who are without. It is a mental struggle as it is physical. Show love and compassion. Give advice on things to do but don’t be over bearing with ideas on what WILL work. I could go on and on and on and on. I think I have already wrote a book already but my LONG story short, don’t COMPLAIN about the sex of your child be grateful that you are able to have them.

My siter and I

Mom and I


hello, my name is amber marie. said...

wow... what a post! :)
it definitely sounds like you needed to vent!

while i agree with most of what you said, i feel that it's hard to sum up what may be considered "selfish reasons", as everyone is so different. selfish to you may not be selfish to me. ya know?

when we decide to have another child it will be because i feel emotionally, physically + mentally prepared for another child, not just because i want one.

over the years that we've been married, i've decided that i will never be the mother of many children. it's just not in me. that's not to say though, that i won't love, cherish + adore the one or two that we choose to have. My reasons for not wanting another baby at this time may in fact sound selfish to someone else, but it doesn't matter, because they won't be raising the child. i will.

i'm sorry you guys are having a hard time getting pregnant. i have a couple friends who are in similair situations + my heart aches for them.

sounds like you have people bugging you about the topic of being pregnant/not being pregnant. that has to be frustrating! it's really just between you + scott!

kimbob said...

thanks for the post, again sorry you're having a hard time getting pregnant but the time will come. You'll be a great mom, just like your mom is!!!

Cory N' Jenna said...

I AGREE with EVERYTHING you said! I understand what you mean when you see moms or pregnant moms and it makes you sad. It sucks! But you guys are doing everything right! You're staying close to your faith and doing everything medically you can to have a family. A very wise friend of mine taught me to be grateful to at least be working towards our goal of having a family. It's hard and not something you expect. But know that I'll pray for you two everyday! You will be wonderful parents and your children will be so lucky to be in a home where they will be so completely and unconditionally loved! Best of luck you guys! :)

The Bowles said...

Wow! I listned to that topic too and I thought I was going to jump through the radio and punch those people!! I understand how you feel about everything you wrote. I'm sorry if you guys are trying and have had no luck. It's the most devasting thing for every month to be a failure. I UNDERSTAND completely. We have been trying for 3 years now and nothing has happened. So we made the decision through much pray and inspiration to adopt. Its been a blessing but still the BIGGEST trial of our lives. I will pray for you guys and hope someday we will look at this and know we made it!!!! Good luck and if you ever need anyone to vent to I'm here!!!!! Hang in there....

Jessica Emily said...

I knew we were meant to be friends for a reason.
Don't you love how people just "expect" you to be pregnant (regardless of whether or not you are "trying") at the slightest symptom of ANYTHING??
I guess instead of people asking "When are you going to get married??" they start asking "When are you going to have a baby?" It drives me nuts because sometimes it is completely out of your control to have a baby and it's just in the Lord's hands.
And then there are those people who are like "I don't know what it's like to "try" to get pregnant. My husband just LOOKS at me and I get pregnant! (giggle giggle)"
It drives me nuts!
Anyway, as you can see I am passionate about this subject as well and could go on forever. LOL.

Thanks for posting this. I feel ya.

Also, thanks for coming to volleyball this morning. Even though we didn't win we totally rocked! ;)

Jesse and Justine Thorn said...

Crystal! Its Justine! It has been such a long time, I can't believe it! You and Scott look so cute together and I love your blog. Very cute!
I am so sorry you guys are having a hard time. But just remember that it is all between you and Scott. Don't let others bring you down or give you a hard time. I know it is very hard, but keep going never give up.
You are so cute and sweet! Please keep me posted!